Pretty Peek: MAC Cosmetics Shop & Cook Collections Thursday 02 February, 2012
Ask anyone who knows me: I am a shopper, not a cooker. I can push that cart like nobody’s business; pilfer through every last onion on that onion stack—without causing a spill; grab ingredients off of the highest grocery store shelf like no other; toss said ingredients into my shopping cart with deliberate care to […]
Ask anyone who knows me: I am a shopper, not a cooker. I can push that cart like nobody’s business; pilfer through every last onion on that onion stack—without causing a spill; grab ingredients off of the highest grocery store shelf like no other; toss said ingredients into my shopping cart with deliberate care to avoid all denting and/or bruising; check off my shopping list with utter accuracy; and ring every last item up at self-checkout lanes without ever having to signal a bored, teenage cashier for help. I’m giving myself pats on the back as I type this.
But once I have those ingredients? Well, hell: I might as well just throw them all away. I can’t cook for shit; the ability to follow directions, but also to add in my own little dash, smidgen and pinch here and there—well these faculties simply do not reside in this brain/body of mine. Sad, really.
So when MAC Cosmetics’ new Shop and Cook Collections hit my inbox, I thought, “Well, my complete lack of focus in the kitchen makes it so that I won’t have a predilection for Cook. And my obsessive need to compulsively shop for anything and everything (Vintage bitters bottles? Check! Oddball Japanese toys? Check! Stuffed monkeys of every variety—especially the “sock” kind? CHECK! I see a “picker” career in my not-so-distant future…) makes it so that the Shop collection will sing to me.” And, I was kind of right…
First off, Shop panders to me by sing-songing (in the info materials) one of my all-time favorite lyrics, “delicious, delovely, delectable, divine, degorgeous, de-with-it, degroovy,” from the dee-mented song “Groove is in the Heart,” dee-child of Lady Miss Kier and Deee-Lite. But never mind that—there are saturated brights for lips, eyes and cheeks, and I am especially drawn to three of the six new Lipsticks: Naughty Sauté, a bright Pepto pink; Quick Sizzle, a matte blinding pink; and Watch Me Simmer, an amplified pink-orange.
I’m also loving how my retinas are burning from the cheerfully bright Cremeblend Blush hues Optimistic Orange (a vivid coral) and Florida (a megawatt fuchsia coral mix). The collection also includes three Eye Shadow x4 quads (Shop & Drop, Call Me Bubbles and Colour Added), and five Kissable Lipcolour hues (Flaunting It, So Vain, Scan-delicious, Woo Me and Enchantée).
And then there’s Cook. Well, Cook didn’t have me at it’s name, but it had me at it’s campaign image: Vlada Roslyakova sucked into a cherry bomb latex dress doing probably what I would be doing were I to be told to cook—holding pans filled to the brim with jewels and looking a little vacant. It kind of seems like she’s trying to hand that one pot off to the dude standing off-camera. (Trust me: There’s a dude standing off-camera). Yep, I can handle those ingredients she’s got there. Sign me up for that cooking class!
The collection asks you to “ladle on an extra helping of foodie fun,” which in this case translates to three blackened Fluidlines (Midnight Snack, Wholesome and Added Goodness), Studio Careblend/Pressed Powders, Opulash Mascara, two new Brushes (Pointed Liner and Powder/Blush) and, the two ingredient categories I’d like to save for last: the “nosh-worthy” Nail Lacquers and the salivate-inducing Tendertone Lip Balms. Bright acid green Al Fredo, midtone dirty aqua Salad Dressed and zippy simmering coral Kid Orange are certain to have you sucking on your digits when they’re painted in these kitschy colors. The Tendertones have a soft lime green with yellow pearl called Tread Gently—and I’m willing to bet there’s not much that’s gentle about this. At the least, this strange-in-the-pot-but-probably-not-that-strange-out-of-it hue will work to alter purple-y reds and punch-up orange lip colors. I personally am excited for Purring, a sheer tangerine with a hint of pearl. Sounds like a shade to sink your teeth into.
Though I’m no Barefoot Contessa, I’ll be gobbling up these yummy no-carb beauts in a hot second. Maybe that’s the shopper in me? Needing to buy everything, always? How about you? Are you a Cook or a Shop? Or a little or a lot of both?
Shop and Cook collections will be available at maccosmetics.com on February 9, 2012.